Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
