Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
