I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
