You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
