I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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