No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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