I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
