Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
