He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
