Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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