it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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