kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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