Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
