i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I faked an abortion last night.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
