I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
