This girl is more easily done than said...
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
