i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
