how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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