My nipple is on Facebook.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
