I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
