What did we do last night that was yellow?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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