i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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