what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
