I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
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