So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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