Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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