You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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