i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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