I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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