White coat. Heels.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
