so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
