just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
