That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
