the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
