I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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