...so i touched it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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