found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
