Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
