lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
