how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
