hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
