You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
