Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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