Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Found the puke drawer
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
