quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
That accounts for only three of the penises
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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