Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
