Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
