So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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