one might say we're banned from that church
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize