Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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