how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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