they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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