plz talk dirty to me
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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