I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
